Sawyer's Top 10 Nicknames

If you've been reading my blog since the beginning of LOST's sixth season, you should know that I've been a huge fan of the developments thus far. But one thing has been bugging me. There has been a real shortage of Sawyer-given nicknames! Sawyer's nicknames for other characters has been a staple of the show, and one of my favorite elements. Hell, there was a whole episode devoted to Hurley taking away Sawyer's ability to give nicknames for a week back in season 3.

So, in honor of Sawyer and his awesome nicknames, here are my top 10 favorites.

10. "Al Jazeera" (Tabula Rasa, season 1)

This is what Sawyer called Sayid way back early in season 1, when he was still a total redneck douchbag we could all love to hate. Now that his character has gone full circle and become a hero, it's easy to forget that the first time we met Sawyer he was fighting with Sayid, accusing him of blowing up the airplane simply because he was Iraqi. I love this nickname, though, because Sayid was a source of news between factions early in season 1.

9. "Chachi" (A Tale of Two Cities, season 3)

Sawyer meets Karl in the polar bear cages and immediately dubs him with this nickname before realizing how appropos it actually is. Chachi was Joni's boyfriend on Happy Days, and while Karl certainly bore a resemblance of Scott Baio's character in his youthful, naive appearance, he also shared the same deep affection for Alex which masqueraded as puppy love. Too bad for Karl that Alex's dad was Ben and not Mr. Cunningham.

8. "Reject from VH-1 Has-Beens" (All the Best Cowboys Have Daddy Issues, season 1)

Not only was this nickname really funny, it was also a real slap in the face to Charlie, who clung to his status as a rock star because it was the only thing that made him feel like he could survive among all the other castaways. Again, this was the Sawyer in season 1, when his nicknames were just a bit crueler.

7. "Kenny Rogers" (There's No Place Like Home, season 4)

I can't stop laughing at this one, said to Frank Lapidus. Just priceless.

6. "Mr. Clean" (The Hunting Party, season 2)

Sawyer, much like Hurley, speaks for the audience, and this nickname was exactly what I would tell people when they asked me to describe John Locke. "Well, he looks a lot like Mr. Clean," I'd say. Awesome!

5. "The Artist Formerly Known As Henry Gale" (?, season 2)

This nickname pretty much sums up Ben Linus for you, doesn't it. He's not what he seems. Sawyer's nicknames have the ability to cut through the shit and make things very clear. This was a good one.

4. "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" (Enter 77, season 3)

Just perfect! You know, Sun and Jin definitely fit these descriptions, don't they. I'd always imagined that Jin was the Crouching Tiger and Sun the Hidden Dragon. Mainly due to gender roles in their culture. Jin has always had that alertness to him, like he's ready for anything, and Sun is the one in hiding, holding back her anger and rage until the time is right. What a great nickname, no matter how racially insensitive it is.

3. "International House of Pancakes" (Tricia Tanaka is Dead, season 3)

I'm pretty sure Sawyer has given Hurley the most nicknames of any character on this show. Some of the others are: "Stay-Puft," "Deepdish," "Jumbotron," "Pillsbury," and "Jabba" (just to name a few). But this one was great because of how it was used. In the episode, Sawyer and Jin are hanging out by the Dharma van as Hurley is trying to see if it can work, and as Sawyer is getting drunk on the ancient Dharma beer he is trying to teach Jin English. "Beer," he says, pointing at the can. "Beer," Jin replies. Sawyer points at Hurley. "International House of Pancakes." Does it get funnier? Well, yes it does (re: #1).

2. "Freckles" (Tabula Rasa, season 1)

This nickname has been used so many times that it plays like a song on a top-40 radio station, which is to say, you probably want to pop your own eardrums from the annoyance. But this simple nickname for Kate is endearing and enduring, as it made its first appearance at the beginning of season 1 and is still being used in season 6. Sawyer has managed to use it as a sign of his affection for Kate as well as a sign of his annoyance with her. He's used it sarcastically, and with pathos. Names mean something on LOST, and this name means "love."

1. "Three Men and a Baby" (One of Us, season 3)

"I counted Hugo twice. Oh, what? C'mon! I used your name!" This is the funniest nickname in the LOST canon as far as I'm concerned, not just because Sawyer says he counted Hurley twice, but because it was during the period when he wasn't supposed to call names at all. You can't change a man's stripes apparently. The irony is awesome here.

What are your favorite nicknames? Comment below!